Designer Vaginas or How junk science & patriarchy has occupied your vagina

“All I want for Xmas is an orgasm , a new vagina , a pretty vulva and some help for my embarrassing stress incontinence that gets me to pee every time I do jumping jacks at the gym.”

“Ho ho ho dear lady – I have just the solution for you. All wrapped into one small injection. And if you’re really desperate, a little surgical time. I can give all this to you … and more .

I simply need a spoonful of your blood, 45 minutes of your time and between R6K – R70K of your hard earned money. ”

“You’re asking me for evidence that this is safe and effective? Look at the studies that have been done .. well, ok, not so many studies, but read the personal narratives of the many women who have had some of my treatments.”

” You’re not sure if you can afford it? No problem . I have a personal finance company that will take care of you.”

Designer Vaginas or “retrofitted vaginas”  as Wednesday Martin refers to them, are the longed for secret gift  of women who are sexually ignorant, insecure about themselves as lovers and afraid of loosing their male partners.  And junk science has jumped in and is once again capitalising  , on female sexuality.

Junk science tells women this :

” To improve sex and cure urinary incontinence, plus give you orgasms , lubrication , painless penetration, have an O -Shot. The O-Shot (The Orgasm Shot) is a non-surgical vaginal rejuvenation treatment. It is a simple painless treatment method of using your own blood Platelets  Rich Plasma (PRP) which are injected into your vaginal tissue. The platelets naturally attract your own stem cells to the injected area, which then generate healthier and more functional tissue in the vagina. This stimulates vaginal and clitoral rejuvenation. After the treatment, you will find an increase in libido and the ability to have multiple, more intense orgasms quickly.” 

I have highlighted words that indicate the misinformation which is misleading. They really do need a #101 lesson on female anatomy and the sexual response cycle. Where are they injecting? Who is eligible for treatments? How long do injections last? What are side effects?

Here are some more wild cowboy junk science claims: “The O-shot is an injection of PRP into the area of the G-spot – underneath the urethra. PRP can also be injected into the clitoris to stimulate orgasm and into the vaginal wall to treat vaginal dryness and painful intercourse as well as frequent vaginal infections.”  See what I mean ? It really is a one-stop-shop for all sexual ailments.

The truth is :

  1. No evidence it works, no evidence it is safe 

2. There is STILL no science that supports the O shot

3. There are no studies at all suggesting the “O shot” improves orgasm or sexual function.

4. There is no animal or human data suggesting it is safe to inject in vaginal epithelium or into the clitoris.

5. There are no studies showing the impact of PRP on women with HPV

6. There is no FDA approval of any of this new technologies.

7. In 2017 The American Congress of Obstetricians and Gynecologists reaffirmed that these procedures are “not medically indicated”. and that the “safety and effectiveness have not been documented”.

There are more offerings than the O -Shot. (price tag about (R7K)

Can I perhaps interest you in Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation with FemiLift, (R15K) Laser labia majora tightening, (R4500)Laser genital bleaching, (R6K)   ,G-Shot (R6K) and the not to be missed Fillers for labia majora(R6K)

Now lets get into the serious stuff. The permanent surgical procedures that will change your life.  How about

Labiaplasty +/- Clitoral Hood Reduction
– Labia Minora
– Labia Minora + Majora

For R15K I can make you a virgin again with a  Hymenoplasty and Vaginoplasty is every woman’s dream- a Barbie doll vulva with a tight vagina.

I ask you :

  1. Do you worry about your vagina?
  2. Do you think your vagina is tight enough ? If yes /no, explain
  3. Have you had a man complain about your vagina- the tightness, appearance or smell?
  4. Tell me what you have done to tighten or enhance your vagina or vulva ?
  5. Do you worry about the outer appearance of your vulva/genitals? If yes, why ?
  6. Have you had a man cheat on you because of your genitals?
  7. Have you cheated on a man because of your genital insecurity?
  8. If you are a health care provider who offers these services, please tell me more about your offering.

I think this is about male sexual privilege . I think this is about men and their penises. I resent that women have to subjugate themselves to the whims of men who want to own women’s vaginas. Put their stamp on them so to speak. And so women risk their health and finances to keep these men tightly squeezed between their legs. Snuff, Detol, vaginal douching , “feminine hygiene” products that line the walls of supermarkets, call out to women. In kicks  their ancient messaging that their vaginas are too big, too loose, too smelly or even too tight for their men. And they spend money trying to redesign their perfectly healthy beautiful genitals.

Think about Gwyneth Paltrow and her eggs.  Goop, her company,  claimed its jade and rose quartz eggs, which are inserted vaginally, could balance hormones and regulate menstrual cycles, among other things. She just paid out $145,000 for making such junk science claims.

I urge you to resist the impulse to redesign your vagina. Rather take a mirror. Do a genital self examination. Become knowledgable about your own bits and pieces. Accept and be grateful for sensations and pleasure it brings you. And if any man , accuses you of cheating because he can feel it in your  “loose” vagina, send him to  me for a #101 lesson  on male privilege and a lesson on female anatomy.

My Xmas reading recommendation for you : The Vagina Monologues , a play by Eve Ensler. #loveyourvulva.