You can join the conversation by visiting Dr Eve’s Instagram account or her website.
Clinical sexologist and couples sex therapist Dr Eve has started a campaign that deals with intimacy trauma and how one can go back to having sex after experiencing sexual harassment.
The campaign runs daily on social media, particularly on Instagram. It started on June 1 and runs until the end of the month. Each day, there’s a different comment or story around sexual harassment and sexual misconduct, with tools from Dr Eve on how to transition through the hurt and work towards a sexually active lifestyle.
Dr Eve says she realised during the therapy sessions that many of the conundrums people are facing are common problems, particularly when it comes to sexual boundaries.
She goes on to say that the #MeToo campaign has shed light on and alerted her to intimacy issues in the bedroom, which in turn moved her to try and resolve them.
“Men are feeling incredibly at risk because they now don’t understand boundaries, as there’s been a shift regarding what boundaries are … That they have to think about consent in a very different way as well. And so men are anxious and they’re not really sure what they should do with their own partners in bed – what is consent, how far can they go, what will be considered assault or sexual misconduct? People are not really sure.”
Dr Eve says lots of young women make appointments to see her thinking they may have been assaulted because of information in the media around #MeToo. Many of these women say to her ‘I think I’ve been assaulted’, ‘I think I’ve been raped’ or ‘I invited a guy up to my dorm and I told him no, but then we were naked in bed and we did kind of touch and I’m not quite sure if this is assault, I don’t know if I gave consent…'”
She says the crux of those moments of uncertainty around sexuality between people who are married or in relationships present this conundrum of confusion. This is why she started the campaign, to begin a conversation about the difficulties that we have within the intimacy of spaces around #MeToo.
The campaign aims to address learning how to love sex again after having experienced sexual trauma and equipping individuals on how to heal, and what to look out for, in their journey of rediscovering their sexuality.
Dr Eve says this journey has to begin with oneself and not with a partner, and to start by gently reintroducing yourself to your sensuality by:
1. Touching and looking at yourself
2. Buying sex toys or indulging in self-pleasuring
3. Develop your own voice and assertiveness around what you like and don’t like
4. Developing boundaries