The Future of Sex Toys: closing the orgasm gap.

The first time I ever saw a sex toy was in 1994. It was after my first day of  lectures in my Doctoral program in Sexology at the Institute of Advanced Study of Human Sexuality , San Francisco. My new friends , amused I’d never seen a sex toy, (thank you Apartheid for sexual repression of the masses)    drove me to Good Vibes, the first female owned women -friendly sex positive sex store.

The rest is history. In 1994 I imported my first shipment of sex toys into South Africa.  I was personally  derided, professionally snubbed , and even had the Rabbi and members of the congregation visit my home asking me to stop bringing shame to the Jewish community. 24 years later my sex store  thrives.

from get go selling sex toys was a window into the gender stereotypes of the country as well as a vivid view of male patriarchy: men are horny , women are sexually reticent and men have to coerce or manipulate women into sexuality.  Mostly men visited my store, most asking for products to get their women horny and interested in sex. Many asking if there was a pill they could slip into their women’s drinks.  If a woman accompanied him , she hung around the corners of the room in silence.

Soon I turned my store into a women only space , and men came only by invitation of a woman.  Now Im less sexist – all are welcome 🙂 Sex toys were made of plastic, or jelly like material,  looked like large purple and pink penises, and  perpetuated the myth that  women want vaginal penetration. Rabbits were the rage, being the first sex toy to be discussed so frivolously and pleasurably on the TV show,  Sex in the City.  Simultaneously I began running Women’s Groups, inviting women who had low sexual desire and pre-orgasmia to spend 7 weeks in a  group therapy process.

The injustice and anger about the orgasm gap arose: my man is guaranteed an orgasm and I am not. I want an orgasm.

I went sex toy hunting. Women wanted clitoral stimulation , even anal stimulation , and erotica. No more dildos. They were good for the add on to the clitoral play. And yes, if a woman buys a dildo it better be big ( try out the incredible new BIG BOSS  #Justsaying )   No more rabbits. They distract women who do not know the difference between a vaginal and a clitoral  orgasm .

P.S. Today the Rabbit toys are sleek, mean and pack a  punch for both men and women. My current favourite is the new Womanizer,  Inside Out.

This is your Xmas splurge, total self indulgence, your self reward . Offering the latest air technology , Inside Out suctions your clitoral area whilst  being penetrated by its smooth vaginal vibe.  And you have the choice to have either clit or vag,   or both stimulated simultaneously.

As the years have gone by  Sexpo, Adult World,  Amazon, Clicks  have made sex toys acceptable, sexy and even sexually healthy , plus  very fashionable and trendy.  Now I have a different shopper. She is  young, sex positive, feminist , perhaps bicurious. She is a modern mom who earns her own money, is married,  and may have a lover either online or In Real Life.  She is ageing and wants to renew her vagina after years of abstinence for a new lover . He is so curious about  his own sexuality, and simply must try out a butt plug or prostate stimulator. And by the way, throw in something you think my wife will like #justsaying #socool.

To purchase a sex toy,  well, in my sex store, you have to talk about “sex”, specifically your own sexuality. My assistant and I are going to ask you penetrating questions to ensure that you get the kind of product that really matches with your current sexual desire for novelty and exploration. And a toy that will close that orgasm gap.

If you are there with a partner, it may be the first time that you actually verbalise your sexual desires. He may have no clue about this orgasm gap. No idea  that you want anything but his hard 24/7 can-go-all-night erection pumping into your vagina. He would be deeply offended if he knew that  all this time you have been faking orgasm.

Im thinking about the man who confidently requested  a vaginal vibrator  for his partner. I pulled out my current favourite, namely Wanderlust Serenity   and saw her face drop. She was eyeing the clitoral vibrators .  Of course she was- she knew she needed clitoral stimulation to become orgasmic. She wanted to use a sex toy to close that orgasm gap. He can go on thrusting but having a clitoral  sex toy, like Cheeky Wand,  ensures her an orgasm, before, during or after penetration .

I grabbed my top of the range best of all time , clitoral vibe , namely the brand new Starlet, from the best selling most innovative range, namely the   Womanizer.   The small compact  vibe is  part of the future of sex toys . The new technological design  is a vacuum pump device- merely place it in your vulva and lie back as it suctions in your clitoral area. No vibrating, no pulsating , merely air suction.

I sell a product called  Zestra. It is a Stimulant.. a clitoral stimulant. This is for the woman who has sluggish orgasms, no orgasms, or low interest in sexuality.  And for the woman who wants to close the orgasm gap. Placing a drop of this clinically tested stimulant on to your clitoral area, engorges and lubricates and awakens sexual interest.

I think grabbing a bottle of Zestra , or any other  more budget priced stimulants such as System Jo H2O Warming Lube  is  a gentle and sensitive way of letting your partner know that you really would love more arousing  clitoral touches. And you get to close the orgasm gap!

 Sex Toys are your right to sexual health and to relationship satisfaction . Forget toehold adages such as  my penis cant do the job if she wants a toy. Or Il become addicted to the toy . And even, Ill be replaced by her toys. Fact is that toys are add ons, and in certain circumstances really necessary.

THE FUTURE OF SEX TOYS: 

  1. TELEDILDONICS.
    Welcome to high tech sex! Teledildonics  are sex toys with computer chips in them that can be controlled through the internet for remote masturbation. You live here, he/she/they live there and you long to feel connected with each other though more than words . Rather through mutual simultaneous  sexual sensations.  These toys use  haptic technology which recreates touch through force, vibrations, and motions, and  sends and receives tactile data between toys.

Teledildonics  close close the intimacy gap, when you are worn out from mutual masturbation Skype sessions.

For example, both of you down load  the same sex toy app . She inserts the toy .. and I am mad about the We Vibe Jive -a woman wears it- inserts one end into her vagina, the other end wraps around her clitoral area – and your partner – or a stranger- can   turn up the power and add rotation, or vibration from his app. 

Take it a step further, if he was to buy a male teledildonic  toy sleeve and she had the compatible female toy, any of his movements would translate to her toy – he would essentially be getting her off and completing the fantasy of having “sex” with the model.

2.CAM GIRLS

All you need is  an internet connection, a private space, and a marketing model that gets you noticed. Cam Workers  earn money from the safety of their own home without being physically touched by anyone but themselves – and of course, their sex toys. Adding teledildonics to their repertoire increases their income.  Depending on each toys function, cam actors can set a “tip” amount that will allow a viewer (usually in a private show) to control the toy. The client downloads the same app as her/his/they toy and plays with his paid companion .

3. SEX ROBOTS

Samantha is the most popular gal in the store but competition is rising. And prices remain high as does your resistance and curiosity. More about this in 2019.

4.  RECHARGEABLE SEX TOYS.

Batteries are out ! Seriously, stop shopping for cheap sex toys that are battery operated. I am slowly moving them out of my store as they break and disappoint people who want a top class guaranteed orgasmic experience. Spend a little extra and buy only rechargeable toys. They are guaranteed for a year. And by then you are ready for the next new trendy sex toy. Its called investing in your  relationships and sexual health by closing that  orgasm gap !

4.  SEX TOYS CURE BOREDOM & BRING NOVELTY

Wednesday Martin’s book Untrue  has opened us to the truth about women’s sexual desires. She has validated that women are  bored with the sex they’re having at home.  They want novelty and surprises.  Sex toys gets you out of your state of ennui , off porn sites and into bed with a real life person . Try watching your partner use a Flashlight to masturbate himself next to you … why not ?  Fleshlight remains  the best male masturbator . Or place  the very popular  vibrating silicone penis sleeve over your own penis . Imagine you are large hard and having a rough ride sexual experience.

5. SEX TOYS BRING CONNECTION.

For all the wonders of #sextech, what people most want is CONNECTION. Connection with an-other. In time that will include a robot , not exclusively, but additionally , as humans will always  crave human touch , smell, voice and smell.

Sex toys are an excellent way to create and maintain connection between people. Seriously. Take the pressure off yourself and a partner. High expectations result in anxiety which causes sexual dysfunctions such as early ejaculation , no orgasms for women and eventually low desire in being sexual. Sex toys bring you a low pressure environment. Just knowing that the vibe will bring her to orgasm , will allow you to focus on your own arousal and pleasure. For example, while thrusting let her use the new bullet vibe , Rocks Off 80MM  Rainbow Colour Clitoral  Bullet Vibe .

In summary, sex toys are an integral part of  the future of sex. Use them to close that frustrating orgasm gap, use them to increase intimacy and connection , alone and with a partner.

Go to my gorgeous  web site ,  www.drevestore.co.za,  beautifully decorated for your Xmas pleasure. Watch out for daily promotions – I am giving you the gift of Xmas pleasure !

Call to place your orders. Call to become educated. Call to ask questions – 021 439 4004. Come visit me between 8.30am -1.30pm Monday – Friday. Come shop exclusively with me.